So I have decided that once in a while i will step away from writing about the kiddos and just little every day things and will really pour my heart and feelings out on here about certain topics. That will be a great keepsake, seeing how I do tend to go trough life and change my mind about certain issues quite drastically.
Right now I am being bothered by the mortality of human beings. It's not the fear of what happens after my death, it is the fear of the sole fact that I will not be on this Earth anymore. I think all these thoughts are triggered by my grandpa dying and him being so far and all I have left to deal with are just thoughts and "what ifs". Just the though of how small and unnoticeable we are compared to the vast amounts of people on this planet and that after we are gone the life goes on like you never even existed. And I have to admit I love this Earth! I love the beauty of all God's made creation around me, I love lots of men made creations around us. I love the way I can feel things whether they are emotional or physical. I love the fact that I am living!
Our life is just a tiny moment in time...I guess after having Jack time has gone by even faster that before. It has already been seven months since he was born, but I could never tell that if it wasn't for the calendar on my wall. If I had to guess, my guess would be that maybe a month or two have passed. Never before did I fully understand that it is so true that the older you get the faster time flies. So my other fear is- I don't want to get old anymore!!! For last 5 or more years I have been saying, that 40 just couldn't come fast enough, but not anymore! 26 is just fine with me.
Either way, the fact that I am mortal is kicking in pretty hard. That does not urge me into a search of a way to be physically immortal, but it is giving me lots to think about.
Well that is it for the first time of very different kind of blogging, but next time a deep though comes my way, you will have the privilege to share it with me. Thank you!
I think it's a good idea to step away from what we normally blog about and let our some of our thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you about how fast time is flying. I look at Benjamin's pictures from when he was born and it really feels like just last month. I look forward to watching him grow and learn, but sometimes I wish he would stay this small!!
And the older I get too, the faster time flies. 5 more years and I'll be 30! That just sounds crazy to me!
I love your new blogging. It opens up a whole new door. Time does fly by and I think we all know that we just never really think about it until its too late or you have a child and realize you want to hold on to each moment for as long as you can. I can definatly realate to you on this entry. You described it perfectly
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